you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started
Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself. So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out, the dog’s having a seizure and I still got half a pie left.
i feel it necessary to reblog since i just read that whole thing
Anonymous said: Hey, I was wondering. I have a nsfw blog for my art but, I keep going back and forward with making it private or not. I always get a fear of in the future a future boss or something will see it and fire me for stupid reasons and I feel embarrassed even though I post porn on my FA. Did you ever feel like that? Any words of advice you can give me? ( sorry if this is odd )
I remember asking one of my illustration professors about this; if I draw porn and people find it, will it hurt me professionally or affect my career? He was of the opinion that literally nobody cares. So long as you’re not being that weirdo who’s going up to their boss showing them porn like “HEY DOES THIS PUSH YOUR BUTTONS HEHEH” then you should be okay. You can always use a pseudonym if you’re uncomfortable.
I used to be a little shy about it (like… 5 years ago maybe… lol) but now I just couldn’t give less of a shit! Sexy stuff is a good challenge for artists - fitting those awkward limbs in there and whatnot, and it’s a good anatomy workout imo - and it’s just FUN.
SO, MY LITTLE CHICKADEES!!! if you are shy about posting porn, no worries. That’s a normal feeling at first. you must BANISH THE FEAR. BEAT THE FEAR TO DEATH WITH YOUR KINKY, KINKY PORN. CLIMB THE PORN MOUNTAIN AND PROUDLY STAB YOUR PORN FLAG ONTO THAT PEAK AND SCREAM INTO THE ABYSS “LOOK AT THE LEWD SHIT I DREW”. You can do it! I’m counting on you.